It turns out that men who read fiction often make great lovers. I had this revelation around 2013. While dining alone in a restaurant, a young couple took the seat next to mine. The man held her hand, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on hers as he spoke sweet, affirming words. Yet, those lines rang a bell, not from a film, but from the pages of a book.

The man had committed every single one of Augustus’s lines from The Fault in Our Stars to memory — because who needs to speak from the heart when you can quote tragic teenage romances instead?

“I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

What surprised me was not his quoting from a book, but rather the fact that the lady was taken in by it. I realized that she was not an avid reader. Her attire was entirely composed of designer garments, giving her the appearance more akin to that of a Pinterest aesthetic enthusiast.

No offense to the Pinterest girlies. I was one too at some point. I miss the no ads.

However, even if she was aware, I doubt she would have cared. Out of the guys I knew, only a few were readers. And by readers, I mean skimming through a thriller or science fiction once a year. Because men want to protect, not love. So, when a guy shows even an ounce of affection and interest, we fall to our knees. And forfeit a battle before it even begins.

A man who reads is more self-aware and empathetic. A guy who likes to read tends to be smarter. He can challenge a girl’s mind in ways that feel intimate and exciting. These men are inclined to have more profound conversations, which leads to a stronger connection with their partner. We women desire someone straight out of a Jane Austen novel. We all dream of landing a suave Mr. Darcy, but instead, we end up with Eric, who approaches conversation like it’s a spelling bee for kindergarteners.

At a fundraiser event, a friend of mine crossed paths with a guy who asked her out. Being a true book lover, she playfully suggested he read her favorite book first. Once he completed it, he had to successfully pick a date spot that captured the essence of the story. Fast forward six years, and they’re happily married. She knew she didn’t want a guy to admire but to understand. They are rare but not impossible to find. And if he truly wants you, he will put in the effort.

From one woman to another, pick a guy who loves poetry. Visits art galleries with you. Have debates and wine. Discuss a documentary while having brunch. Cook and eat a cultural meal together. Lay under the stars and talk about dreams and goals. Make sure he leaves a lasting impression.

Books and rom-com movies are tools to help us love with more emotional depth and clarity. When a man reads, reflects, and grows emotionally, he can love just as deeply, and sometimes in surprisingly beautiful ways. So, skip the watch and gift him a romance novel instead. Do book blind dates. Write your own love story together.